A list of places where I can still breathe

I'm well aware that Mamoru Oshii's Avalon has had various interpretations, not least political ones, and that elements (suggesting that the whole film takes place in a video game) in its last part invalidate my own vision of the thing, and in short I don't pretend at all to give a reading of what the film actually says, BUT the first impression I got when I saw it, a number of years ago, was the following: the video game as escapism AND as an image of a reality (experienced as) dull, repetitive, alienating, brutal, centered on utilitarianism, survival and competition – opposed by "Class Real", access to the real world, which is the same world, but finally perceived as a space for play and stakes.

The film eXistenZ had exactly the same effect on me, especially one scene, the most pregnant with meaning and aesthetic emotion, which also happens to be the most innocuous: the one where Allegra Geller and her bodyguard Ted Pikul arrive at the gas station to have a bioport installed for the latter. Allegra strolls past the gas pumps, radiating a strange, quirky joy; she smiles and looks at the world around her as if seeing it for the first time. She throws pebbles at the gas pumps, to see what noise they make, like a child discovering the outside world and wanting to test it; and it's at this point that we understand that eXistenZ is not a film for or against virtual worlds, nor even a film "about video games".

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Like everyone else, I've been testing these "Gamify your life" software programs, which turn everyday life into an RPG, with quests to complete, experience and rewards, etc.

The aim of all this stuff is very down-to-earth (maintaining good habits, fulfilling one's obligations in a day, etc.) and sometimes it's even taken very seriously:

"Health-related costs are rising, and someone has to pay for them. Hundreds of programs are designed to reduce these costs and improve overall well-being. We are convinced that Habitica can provide a real solution towards a healthier lifestyle."

On the Anglo-Saxon side, we're obviously even clearer about the ultimately utilitarian aspect, totally devoted to the ideology of our times, carried by these tools, since it's openly about improving one's productivity, or monitoring one's fitness and nutrition (Fitocracy) or even one's mental health (Mindbloom). And when I read quotes like "I'd rather recruit a very good World of Warcraft player than someone who's got an MBA from Harvard", or "Playing is a very high-level skill, and those who can't play are worrisome", I think we've gone from video games as a refuge for geeks, misfits, uglies and shy people – to a new tool, a new weapon of generalized oppression.

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Still in the "I'd better not leave my house" series:

In the past, this hangar housed a frozen food store, lit by sinister neon lights, and an Amstrad CPC 664 to manage the cash register. In place of the concrete parking lot, a black and dirty pond, the blackest and dirtiest pond in the world, surrounded by anarchic vegetation – in other words, paradise on earth. I had a friend who was obese, as in any self-respecting childhood. He lived there. His father owned the store.

Not far away was a cross-country course, and the house where the American evangelist pastor's daughter lived; she'd never worn anything but long skirts since birth, looked like she'd stepped out of an episode of Little House on the Prairie and, rumor had it, had nothing against jerking off local boys who asked nicely. I never found out if it was true.

The list of places where I can still breathe is continually dwindling. And wherever I go, the stupid houses painted red and gray, the traffic circles, the hideous L.E.D.s in the gardens, to light the way to the door at night, and the exotic flowerbeds with stupid decorations, instead of trees, good old trees. Time and landscapers destroy everything.